It is our second Christmas without Wyatt. Last year I didn't decorate the house, so this year was the first time I have seen the old tree ornaments. There are so many ornaments with Wyatt's name on them. The memories of past Christmases flooded over me. We also decided to use an old Christmas picture for our Christmas card so I was looking through all the pictures. We were so blessed! It is funny the couple of years when Wyatt was growing from a boy into a man. For some reason those pictures jump out at me, it happened so fast! I remember Wyatt jumping up and hitting the arch between the diningroom and livingroom. When we first moved to the brick house he was in 5th grade and a little guy. He couldn't reach the arch but he always tried. As he grew he managed it and couldn't walk from one rooom to the next without smacking the arch. It was covered in dirty hand prints on both sides. Then he morphed in one short year. He had growing pains at night and stretch marks appeared all over his body. It was amazing to watch him grow so so fast! Seemingly over night he was smacking the arch with barely a reach and then no reach at all. I remember he too was amazed. The wall where we marked the kids heights was covered with pencil marks. He couldn't get enough of watching himself grow. Plus he was trying to catch up with Andrew. Anyway back to Christmas, it became Wyatt's job to put the angel at the top of the tree. He enjoyed the special honor I think. He also had to hang the garland and wreaths on the outside windows, half of which were on the second story. He did not enjoy that honor. He was afraid of heights. Every time I drive by the old house I think of all these things. This year I am able to feel a little happiness along with the sadness. He was such a good boy.

Hard to believe but I'm 24 today. I can't help but think of all the birthday parties growing up. I love looking at pictures from that time where you see all the Ammon kids and my siblings oohing and aaahhhing over the cool new toy. I have the picture from the twins birthday in the city park as the background on my computer. Just nice rememberin all those wonderful times we shared together as kids when nothing mattered and we were all together and safe. Just doesn't seem right that life keeps going on and I'm another year older but Wyatt will always be 24. Miss ya Wyatt!

This past Christmas we watched a lot of movies. I had just joined Netflix and Ginger brought a bunch home for Christmas. One night we watched "The Family Stone". There is a scene in the movie where the mom is in the kitchen talking to her son. It reminded me of the talks I had with Wyatt, and especially the one we had in 2004 at Christmas. In the movie the mom and son hug after their talk. I silently cried as I watched, thinking I would do anything to hug Wyatt again. I remembered our last hug in the airport. I cried because I will never hug him again. A few days later I had an early morning dream. I don't dream about Wyatt very often. In this dream we were all together with the extended family and Wyatt was vibrantly happy. At a certain point he came up to me and gave me a hug. And in the exchange we both acknowledged without words that he was really gone and it was just a dream. It was a dream but it wasn't at the same time, it's hard to explain. Wyatt came to me in my dream, because it is possible for him to. He came to give me the hug I so needed and to let me know he still loves us from heaven. He gave Greg a hug in the dream to. I felt so good when I woke up. I hope he comes again sometime.