I just wish Wyatt was here.

Ginger, thanks for posting more pictures for us. I am feeling so sad. It seems like none of this can be real. I feel like I'm going to lose Wyatt all over again, like he is still alive and there is some way to prevent what happened last year and make everything ok again. I feel like I am going crazy. My life is a mere shadow.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/15/2006 09:47AM by Ginger Ammon.

I really don't know what to say. I just end up deleting most of what I type because all I really want to do is scream. After staring at this for too long, I'm just going to say what's there. You have the most beautiful family, and you were the ones that made Wyatt so amazing. I love you and thank you for being such a tremendous influence in my life. Wyatt balanced me out and everything seemed to make sense. He was irreplacable when he was away influencing others, so I waited for his vacations back to SD. Now, I'm no longer waiting, and there's no replacement. He was so inspiring and I need his inspiration. I need his influence, and his conversations, and his adventures, and his conviction, and his sense of humor...
I know how much I miss him, and I can't imagine how it must feel to miss him more than this. I wish I could say something. I wish I could do more than draw a picture of him. I'll get in touch with you soon, take care.

November 17, 2005, 11pm. The phone call - something's wrong with my Wyatt. WHAT??? Tell me now, Dad...but I knew....my best friend in the world was gone. The day my life changed forever. I feel like part of me is missing, forever. Why do I have to be a year older, and you are forever 24? I don't want to go on without you. Sometimes I think I can't. I wish I could just hide away from the world. From the people that don't understand or don't seem to care. Oh Wyatt, I need to see you again. I need to give you a hug, see your smile and know that you love me. Sometimes that is what I miss the most...that look in your eye that let me know how much you loved me - and that was all I needed to get along. I hope you read this. I need something from you. I am feeling really disconnected and I need a sign, something. I need to feel you with me and I can't. I am scared and lonely. I am scared there really isn't a heaven and I won't ever see you again. I am scared you can't hear me talk to you. Please just know if you do read this that I am thinking about you every second of every day for the rest of my life...until we meet again. I love you so much Wy.